The Weight Of The Matter
I love food! I love buying it, I love cooking it, and I especially love eating it. But I am always conscious of how much I am intaking and why, not going crazy, but simply being aware. You see, I lost 45 pounds over 3 years ago by changing my thoughts about the role that food plays in my life. I saw a picture of myself in Italy and didn't even recognize myself. I was overweight and worst of all, I could see my soul in that picture and even though I was happy on the outside, loving Italy, on the inside I looked so unhappy. It was at that moment that I slowly started to change my eating habits and low and behold the weight just came off, but that was the easy part. I had to discover why I used food as a crutch, my go to friend or else I knew that I would gain the weight back. There are so many things that people struggle with, whether weight, alcohol, tobacco, too much TV, or whatever, it doesn't matter, a struggle is a struggle, mine just happened to be food, but with any struggle, there is a root cause. Mine was all about self worth. Never thinking I was pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, you name anything good and I didn't think that I deserved it. I dealt with a lot of loss, people's high expectations of me, my high expectations of myself, and my feeling of wanting to belong. I just manifested how I felt about myself with food. When I would get stressed, I would eat. When I was overwhelmed, I would eat. When I was depressed, I would eat. When I didn't feel loved, I would eat. It was truly an inward struggle. The end of the story is joyful though, I found that there was a wonderful light at the end of my journey to self awareness and the weight is no longer an issue for me. Actually, for the first time in my life, I love and appreciate the way that I look! Like I said, I always have to be aware of what and why I am eating, but it has just become second nature and really no big deal. I still have a two scoop ice cream every week and I sometimes eat a whole bag of cheese popcorn, but that's just because I love to eat them. Coming from my heart, I encourage everyone to take on a struggle in their life, face it, and make a change.